There’s nothing like a good harness, buckle, or seat belt. And before you go all 50 Shades on me, I’m talking about the various restraints that manage to keep my kids from potential emergency room visits. I’ve come to realize that the most stress-free parts of my day are when my children are safely squared away into contraptions. So I thought this week I’d pay homage to some of those devices.
I am in love with my double Bob. I’ve used it practically every single day for the last 16 months. It’s the only stroller we have, therefore I spend a lot of time hefting it in and out of the car (and I fully count that as my weight lifting routine, along with carrying Harry).
It also turns on a dime and fits through 99% of the doors I’ve attempted to maneuver it through. I’ve had many a nurse try to persuade me that it wasn’t going to fit through an exam room door only to thankfully prove them wrong. (I challenge you to go to a doctor’s appointment with 2 toddlers sans stroller. DISASTER. I know from experience because I was feeling cocky one day. It didn’t end well and involved the hurling of several plastic cups and chalk and resulted in an angry doctor.)
But I do have a confession to make. I’ve never actually run with the double Bob. Truly pathetic. I used to run quite a bit with the single Bob when Auggie was little, but then I got pregnant again and wrote myself an RX for ice cream. Honestly, if I find myself pushing the Bob up a hill, I’m practically winded.
By the way, I totally count walking the dogs as strenuous activity (and in case you’re counting, that’s a total of 4 living beings that I’ve got contained in said situation). You may have seen me huffing around the neighborhood. I apologize ahead of time if I cross to street to blatantly avoid you and your animals, but it’s truly out of self-preservation. My worst nightmare is that while I’m picking up some poop a squirrel pops out of nowhere startling my dogs, which results in me dropping the leashes and knocking over the stroller. Could totally happen.
The Car Seats
I love the car seats. Unfortunately, we don’t really take long car trips so our time in them is limited. My husband finds relief in that fact because he doesn’t think too much of my driving skills. I’d beg to differ, but then he’d be forced to remind me of all of the fender benders I’ve been in (pre-kids, people!)
Maybe I should stop talking about the car. I don’t want to jinx myself.
The High Chairs
Thank the Lord for high chairs. Dinner is already my least favorite part of the day thanks to the fact that I am a terrible cook, but throw in children opening the fridge and walking too close to the oven and I’m a wreck.
How old are they before they graduate from being strapped in at the table? 10? You’re right, that sounds too old. 4,5? Please don’t tell me anything under 4. (I’m also in complete denial that children ever drop naps so we’ll just pretend that doesn’t happen either.) I can deal with the food throwing and cup dropping, but it’s much easier to tolerate knowing that they’re stuck in their seats until I let them out.
Can I also add that when poor Auggie is nebulizing (whilst buckled into his comfortable booster) I can also get some vacuuming done. Heaven.
Yes, I have put my children in those cute, furry harness buddies. I love them. Well, I’ll appreciate the product more when the boys learn how to walk semi-straight with them. Right now they tend to move in opposite directions which leaves one or both of them on their behinds and me in a tangle of leashes.
I’ve only practiced with them at Sea Life when it’s practically empty. This is because my husband told me in no uncertain terms that he won’t be seen in public with us while using/wearing them.
I’m convinced these harnesses will serve me well while we’re at the State Fair this summer (and when Bob has to be left home due to his size). I’ll just have to make sure that I come home with the correct 2 children. I get easily distracted around all of the fried food and the Miracle of Birth Center.
The Bike Trailer
We don’t even own a bike trailer, but I think they’re fantastic. From what I understand, the kids are securely fastened in a little shelter while wearing helmets. Double safe! (And if I haven’t mentioned it before, I’m beginning to think my children should be wearing helmets at all times. Lately, Harry has been diving head first into our makeshift ball pit. The kid has no fear.)
Then the responsible parent bikes them around the neighborhood and lake on an outdoor adventure. Now you must have picked up on my use of the word “responsible” and realized, Sarah does not really seem like she’s capable of navigating a bike with a trailer hitched to it. You would be correct! And there’s no offense taken. I completely incapable of such an activity.
That’s why this is the most perfect contraption of all: DAD HAS TO BE THE ONE TO TAKE THE KIDS IN THE TRAILER, which leaves mom to relax (or to at least clean the house in peace).
In conclusion, I should probably reiterate or explain that my children are not confined the entire day. We do engage in normal activities like ECFE, urgent care visits, playdates, doctor’s appointments, trips to Target, the park, trips to Target pharmacy. I just breathe a little easier during those times when they are secured away and not running head first into each other. I’m telling you, 24/7 helmet-wearing might be in our future.