Is it a case of gardeners run amok? An Kenny resident awoke to what must have been a peculiar sight on Friday morning, when they discovered someone had assaulted their car overnight with a cucumber.
The police report did not describe the weapon used, but the fruit was evidently stout enough to break one rearview mirror, and potentially damage the mirror’s housing as well.
Presumably, the cucurbit criminal either thought melons too unwieldy for their purpose, or couldn’t find a heavy-enough one in their garden that night.
What follows is a summary of Minneapolis Police Department incident reports from Aug. 25-27.
Burglaries, Thefts and Other Property Crimes
A garage burglary was reported overnight on the 3800 block of Pillsbury Avenue South. A bicycle and a bike were taken after the perpetrator kicked in the garage’s door. (Aug. 27)
An unknown suspect or suspects broke into a house on the 3900 block of Harriet Avenue South and stole unspecified items, although no forced entry was apparent (Aug. 26)
A customer of the Caribou Coffee at 46th and Nicollet reported their wallet stolen after leaving it on the counter next to the cream and sugar. (Aug. 26)
An unsecured bicycle was stolen from behind the Dairy Queen at 50th and Drew. (Aug. 26)
A loud bang woke up a resident of the 3200 block of 1st Avenue South. When she checked her front door, she found someone had kicked it and left dirt from their shoe on the door. The victim was unaware of any possible suspects. (Aug. 25)
Two storage lockers were broken into in a building on the 3900 block of Bryant Avenue South, between Aug. 22 and Aug. 25 by unknown persons.
A man was cited for shoplifting from the Windom Cub Foods store after unsuccessfully trying to slip frozen food into his pants.
A Kenny resident was mugged on the 5600 block of Lyndale Avenue South and employees of the Metro Inn motel were injured by the same group of people (Aug. 25)
A driver on West 36th Street was cited for driving with a suspended license (Aug. 27)
A Kenny resident was cited for operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated a few minutes before noon. (Aug. 27)
Drivers on the 4600 block of Garfield Avenue South, West 46th Street, and Drew Avenue South were cited for having no proof of insurance. (Aug. 27)
Cars on the 200 block of 62nd Street West and on West 32nd Street were reported damaged. (Aug. 27)
A driver on the 5700 block of Wentworth Avenue South was cited for driving without proof of insurance (Aug. 26)
A hit and run without injuries was reported on 35th Street West. (Aug. 25)
A driver on the 100 block of 58th Street West was cited for driving without proof of insurance.
Narcotics and Curfew Violations
Officers patrolling Lake Harriet Parkway around 4:30 a.m. found a driver lying down inside his car, which was parked alongside the parkway. The man had suspected marijuana on his person and elsewhere in the car. (Aug. 27)
Two 16-year olds walking around Lake Calhoun near Thomas Beach and a group of 17-year olds standing in the Thomas Beach parking lot were cited for being out past curfew (Aug. 26)