You know how it is, you’re supposed to be in a good mood, but you’re not. You could list a hundred reasons why your not in a good mood and a hundred more reasons why you should be in a good mood, but nothing is working. When you’re feeling like this, remember:
You can change it.
You can.
I’ll show you how… Step-by-step (oooo baby)!
Find out what's happening in Southwest Minneapoliswith free, real-time updates from Patch.
(Side note: I was at a New Kids On The Block concert a couple weeks ago and one of them was making so much eye contact with me. I mean, I really thought I was going to get pulled back stage. It never happened. Their loss. Ha!)
First, imagine…
Imagine who you want to be in this situation. On this day, in this moment with this baggage, yipping dog, screaming kid or whatever your present moment is.
Find out what's happening in Southwest Minneapoliswith free, real-time updates from Patch.
This tip is based on some advice I once received from a tough-love therapist I was seeing right after college. Her advice: when in doubt, act like your role model. So I asked her the next logical question…
“What if you don’t have a role model? I mean, I can’t think of anyone. Not one person.”
:-/
Seriously. Every adult I was close to at the time was just as f-ed up as I was. This woman always had sage advice that maybe would have worked for someone a little more evolved than I was. She meant well, but we didn’t ever hit it off. I faked a breakthrough and got he hell out of there. YEP. 10 years later, I’m not that person and thankful for my determination and hard work.
ANYWAY (yes, I’m yelling that), back to imagining.
Imagine how you want to feel in this situation. Imagine what that would look like:
What would you say? Would you offer an apology, a compliment, a smile, kind criticism or a warm hug?
How would you feel? Happy about your plans, excited for the day ahead, in love with your significant other, thankful for your job, relieved the meeting is over, glad your home?
You can use a role model in your life and emulate their behaviors in stressful situations or times when your feeling just kind of “off”. Or your can straight up make the shit up like I do.
An example:
Sometimes, I have a bad week.
If this bad weak starts to affect my mood, that pisses me off. Sometimes, I’ll just role with it if I’m home alone and can usually snap out of it with a cheesy romantic comedy movie and some Dots. I loooove Dots when I watch movies.
If I have to go out and be social or just really want to be in a good mood, I’ll give myself a little time out – away from the computer, TV or other distractions. During this time, I get quiet and think about why I’m feeling this way. Just to get clear and see if there is an easy fix. Then I determine how I would like to feel.
With how I would like to feel in mind, I think about the person I want to be: high-functioning, realistic, positive and peaceful.
Then I think about it in detail: If High-Functioning Super Hero Jina was feeling < insert how I want to feel > she would act like this, do this, say this, look like that.
Now, act on it.
I get the imaginary scenario in my head and then I imitate the hell out of High-Functioning Super Hero Jina for the rest of the day.
And you know what? It usually works to snap me into a better mood.
And another thing… the more I fantasize about her and the more I “pretend” to be her, the more I really am like her. And I feel better because of it. Because we all want to feel better, right?
None of us are perfect. Far from it. But with each small step you take towards being happier you will feel better.
On the inside, I feel like a completely different person than I was 10 years ago. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and have daily practices in place to help me stay sane and centered. I’m much happier BUT 9 years ago I thought I felt amazing with all the work I was doing. So don’t get caught up in the “it took her 10 years to feel better” mentality. I started feeling better with each step towards sanity, happiness and peace.
My point: Start working to become a happier and healthier person now and every step feels freeing. Enjoy your journey. Get started today! :)
Want more? Click the link to get on my email list:http://ow.ly/nIAy6
Thanks for reading!
Jina
