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Health & Fitness

DEAR MOM AND DAD, LET THESE PARENTS' RESPONSES BE A LESSON TO YOU

I wrote this on my blog at www.bravelittlewarrior.com

I am not a parent. Personally, I don’t really know if I will ever be; I actually really like kids but knowing that someone is going to be dependent on me for the rest of my life is something I don’t know if I could handle. But, who knows, I could change my mind tomorrow or in the next five years.

Since the controversial Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke performance from the VMAs last weekend, parents with small/small-ish children have been taking to their blogs and opinion pages to voice their concerns over Miley and her antics as well as Robin Thicke and his delusions of actually having another hit.

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Speaking as someone who has experienced adolescence quite recently, I think a lot of parents are overreacting to this whole performance. I mean, for starters, if you have children who are thirteen and under, I don’t think you should even be letting them watch the VMAs. It’s practically more known for being controversial than it is for recognizing the artists with the best music videos of the year.

In Kim Keller’s blog, Roadkill Goldfish, she writes a letter to her daughter, warning her that she should let Miley be a lesson of what not to be. I truly respect and understand where Keller is coming from, but I also think she needs to realize that Miley Cyrus is an adult. As immature and childish as she may act, Miley is almost 21. Just by scanning Keller’s blog, it looks like she has at least one child, a daughter who is 15. While the five year age gap between Keller’s daughter and Miley Cyrus doesn’t necessarily seem like much of a difference, I, and probably all of my girl friends, can tell you that it is.  At 15, you can’t drive, you’re still in high school within the comforts of living with your parents and hanging out with people you’ve most likely known your entire life. At 20, most people are in college, living on their own, maybe still adjusting to having more freedom to do what they want than ever before. That’s a big difference, and not only that, but this girl has been famous since she was 13 or however old she was when Hannah Montana began. You can’t put Miley on a pedestal for your daughters when she’s experienced a completely different way of growing up and is in a completely different stage in her life.

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It’s not Miley Cyrus’ responsibility to raise your kids, it’s your responsibility. If you don’t like the way Miley Cyrus is representing herself, then don’t have your kids watch her attempt to twerk on MTV. And really, the response from your children on Tumblr has been more negative than positive. There are more posts dedicated to mocking Miley and the complete fool she’s making of herself. I mean, have you seen those memes comparing her ass to an uncooked chicken? Or even better, the comparison between her and Hank Hill, the main character with “Diminished Gluteal Syndrome” in the animated series King of the Hill.

You should be more worried about whether or not your children know about current events and the correct way to treat people. I think more pressing than Miley’s VMA performance is the way in which Miley accessorizes black people. I’m sorry, but I believe it’s a lot more concerning when someone generalizes a race of people and uses that generalization to gain cred and legitimize their music.

See parents, this is what Miley wants. She wants you to be appalled and to label her as a “bad girl.” Why? Because she wants to break free of the Disney image that she’s had for the past six years, and by pissing parents off, she’s doing just that. She’s legitimizing her new “good girl gone bad” image and garnering attention for it. Honestly, if you don’t want your daughters to grow up like Miley, don’t even bring her up.

Matt Walsh, another parent blogger, writes in his blog, The Matt Walsh Blog, a letter to his son, warning him to not grow up to be like Robin Thicke. I’ve seen a couple of these “dear son” posts being shared on Facebook, and really, I laugh at them. First of all, I really don’t know if your sons even know  who sings “Blurred Lines.” Yes, it’s a popular song, but it’s not like it’s from Justin Timberlake – it’s from the Kmart version of Justin Timberlake. This is Robin Thicke’s first number one single and he’s already almost 40. I really do not see the guy putting out that many more hits if it has taken him 20 years to get one.

Also, don’t trust a father who says that he’s not a feminist. Especially when he has a daughter, which Walsh mentions in his post. Um, hello? Feminism means that you want equality for both men in women, it doesn’t mean that you want women to eclipse men in everything. This is what he has to say about feminism on his blog post:

I’m no feminist. Miley Cyrus is an adult and should be held responsible for her actions. But where are the men in all of this?

Okay, personally, I think there are a couple of things wrong with this statement. One, you should be a feminist. Two, yes, Miley is an adult, but in what way does it even mean to take responsibility for her actions? She’s an entertainer, she’s not your children’s babysitter.

I believe that kids are much more influenced by their peers than they are by celebrities. Actually, I think parents are very influential in the way their children see the world. Want proof? Research the Westboro Baptist Church.

Sure, your son or daughter buys Miley and Robin’s music, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to be acting like them tomorrow. You have to trust in yourself and the values you’ve instilled into your kids. You have to believe that, with the lessons you’ve taught them, your children can distinguish between acting like jackasses and good, responsible people.  Give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re smart enough to make their own decisions and to not be influenced by Miley and Robin. Good parenting usually produces results you can see.

So, here’s my letter to my parents:

Dear Mom and Dad, 

I don’t give two craps about what Miley Cyrus does. She’s more of an embarrassment to herself than anything else. Don’t let other parents bully you into thinking that us younger people copy celebrities all the time. You’ve raised me well – enough so that I know when people are acting dumb.
Could I borrow $20? 

Thanks. Love, Amelia.

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